Sg13 the Savior the Insane the Godling the Ancient
by your knight in tinfoil armor
Summary: Thank you for meeting Colonel Potter, Captain Hood, Lieutenant Saotome, and Dr. Mutou, the only team at the SGC who's more messed up than SG1. SG1XEAXHPXR12XYGO FF really needs a genre for freakyness. Under Hiatus.


Title: Sg-13

Summary: Meet: Colonel Potter, an over-paranoid, depressed, thrice-damned, world savior; Captain Hood, a psychotic, anorexic woman with homicidal tendencies; Lieutenant Saotome, a schizophrenic, gender confused, martial arts god-phoenix; and Dr. Mutou, a man with multiple personality disorder. Congratulations, you've just met Sg-13, the only team in the SGC that just might be even more messed up than Sg-1.

Stargate Sg-1XEver AfterXHarry PotterXRanma ½XYu-Gi-Oh!

By: Dark

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Sg-1, Ever After, Harry Potter, Ranma ½, or Yu-Gi-Oh! They belong to someone, Healy, J.K. Rowling, someone else, and yet another someone. I forgot who, and I don't feel like looking it up. In fact, most of this stuff doesn't belong to me, only the idea of throwing it all together does. And that one curse thingy. At least, I think it does.

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Sg-1 had just gotten back from a routine mission to P4X231, checking the planet out. This of course meant that they had been under fire after the first 30 minutes.

The team was headed towards the infirmary for the after mission check up, and soon noticed something odd.

It seemed that every other SGC personal was avoiding the infirmary. Wondering what was going on, Colonel Jack O'Neill pulled aside one soldiers as they were hurrying away.

"What's going on?" he asked the man, "Why's every one avoiding the infirmary like the plague?"

The other man looked at him, startled. "Sg-13's back." he said fearfully, and then hurriedly added, "Sir." when he saw Jack's badges.

Sg-1 glanced at each other, confused. Teal'c, former first prime of Apophis, raised an eyebrow as Captain Samantha Carter and Dr. Daniel Jackson stared at each other.

Jack let the solider go, and confused and a bit wary, Sg-1 continued on to the infirmary.

Soon enough they arrived. Teal'c opened the door silently and the four looked in.

There were four people inside the room, and none of them seemed to have noticed them yet. Sg-1 was about to enter, when something made them pause, causing them to instead stay where they were and watch the four.

Three of the four (two redheads and someone with tricolor hair) were sitting on hospital beds. Glancing about the room, Sg-1 couldn't see any of the doctors or nurses that were usually there, instead, the fourth person seemed to be checking over them, standing in front of one of the beds with her (his?) back to Sg-1.

He (she?) had long, messy, black hair, done up in a braid that ran down to her (his?) hips, and tied off with a red ribbon. But that wasn't what made it hard to disconcert his (her?) gender. She (he?) was rather tall and slim, with the faintest hint of both curves and muscles. He (she?) didn't seem to be a doctor or nurse, what with his (her?) tan and green military fagitudes. She (he?) was standing in front of one of the two redheads, this one obviously female.

She had her hair loose and down to her shoulders, and her eyes were overly large, taking up almost half her face, and round, with the color an odd ruby, with huge shadow under them. Her chest was rather large, but not overly so. She didn't blink often, and when she did, it was always very slowly, giving Sg-1 a severe feeling of creepiness. She was also wearing military fagitudes, although hers were black and red, a pattern that none of Sg-1 had never seen them in before. They hung off her slight, thin, frame, making her seem smaller then she actually was. Sg-1 could even faintly see the outline of some of her ribs through her clothes.

The man (woman?) was talking to her, but in much to low a voice for the four eavesdropping to hear. The other only nodded or shook her head, saying nothing. After a minute of the one-sided conversation, she (he?) nodded his (her?) head, then leaned down and planted a kiss on the others lips. All the woman did was blink her eyes, and that didn't even seem to be a reaction to the kiss.

All of Sg-1 was surprised, though they showed it in different ways. Teal'c slowly raised an eyebrow in surprise. Jack's eyes widened, before his lips tightened into a thin line in disapproval. Sam and Daniel had to raise their hands to stifle a gasp.

A moment later, the woman (man?) moved back, then, acting as if nothing had happened, moved toward the next bed, on which the man with tricolored hair was sitting.

He had his hair loose as well, but his stuck up, forming the shape of a star. His bangs were blond, and the edges of his hair were red, while the rest was black. The man seemed to rather short, though with him sitting down, it was hard to tell. He had slightly large and oval amethyst eyes, which seemed to be slightly unfocused, with large shadows underneath. His clothes consisted of green pants and a black shirt, with a green jacket laid down next to him, just like Daniel usually wore. Around his neck he wore large gold necklace, shaped like an upside down pyramid with a carving of an eye on the front. In his ears he had several gold hooped earrings of varying sizes.

The mans' eyes came into focus as the man (woman?) moved to stand in front of him. Once again, the woman (man?) started to speak to him in a low voice, but this time the other responded, his voice as low as his (hers?). This conversation lasted a little longer then her (his?) one with the redheaded girl, but soon enough, they were done. With another nod, he (she?) leaned down once again, kissing the man. The man closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss, returning it.

Once again, the entirety of Sg-1 was surprised. Teal'c's other eyebrow rose to join his first, while Jack's mouth seemed to turn into an even harder line. Sam and Daniel had to once again cover their mouth with their hands to stifle gasps. What was going on here? Hadn't the guy just kissed the red-haired girl? And as inappropriate as that was, what with the rules about relationships in the military, it was on another level to kiss someone else while the person you had just kissed was still in the room, let alone at all!

Sam quickly glanced at the red-haired girl, who was sitting on her bed and swinging her legs, staring at the other two with no reaction at all. Even her eyes were blank. Sam shuddered.

After several moments, the woman (man?) stepped away from the other, turning and walking towards the third and last person in the room. The man opened his eyes again and stared at the wall, his eyes glazing over once again as he started to shake.

The man (woman?) stopped in front of the last occupant of the room, another redheaded girl.

She had her vibrant red hair done up in a pigtail that draped off the bed and pooled into a pile on the floor. Her eyes were the most normal of the three, with the size relatively normal and only slightly large, and the color was a deep, clear sapphire. She had large shadows under her eyes, as seemed a common theme in all three. The woman was shaking and seemed to be mumbling to herself, her eyes darting nervously around the room. She was of medium height, and was wearing military fagitudes like her companions, but hers were relatively normal, with the colors in brown, tan, and green. Her chest was also large, but this time it didn't seem to fit her thin frame, as it did the first girls. She had a gold earring in one ear, a stud, but wore no other jewelry. What was most surprising about her were the two red-gold feathered wings that sprouted out of her shoulder bones, flaring up into the air in a graceful arc before folding over and around the woman. They were very big, seeming to be about twice her height, and looked strong enough to support her.

The woman (man?) bent down to speak to the woman, leaning forward a bit. He (she?) started to talk to her in a low voice, and the woman answered back, her voice equally soft, though so high pitched that Sg-1 could tell from where they were standing, even if they couldn't understand what she was saying. She (he?) talked to the woman for a few minutes, making hand gestures every now and then.

Then, behind him (her?), the other redheaded woman stood up, and she (he?) tensed, a slight tightening of her shoulders. But all the woman did was walk over to the tricolor haired mans bed and sit down next to him, then grab his hand. The mans' shaking lessened, but didn't stop.

Slowly, the man (woman?) untensed, but didn't stop her (his?) talk with the woman in front of him (her?). After a few minutes, the conversation stopped, and the woman (man?) leaned down once again, kissing the redhead.

From the door way, Sg-1 was even more surprised. Teal'c's eyes widened and both of his eyebrows rose once again. Jack's eyes widened as well, and the line that was his mouth thinned, his jaw clenching. This time, Sam and Daniel's hands couldn't prevent their gasps from becoming audible.

The man (woman?) jerked herself (himself?) out of the kiss and whirled around towards the door at the faint sound, eyes flashing as a stick of wood fell out of his (her?) sleeve and into her (his?) hand, all in one fluid motion.

The entirety of Sg-1 flinched back, feeling like they had just been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Then, remembering themselves, they straightened and leaned forward to inspect the woman, as they could finally see she was.

She had blazing emerald eyes, and like the others, they were overly large, with shadows large shadows, but her shadows went all the way around her eyes, making her look rather like a panda, and showing that she rarely, if ever, slept. She was tall, most likely the tallest of the group, and while the back of her hair was messy, black and in a braid that went down to hips, the bangs of her hair were a stark white and left to hang loose, coming down to her chin. On her forehead, there was a thin scar, shaped like a lightening bolt, and on each of her cheeks were two scars, starting at the edge of her face and pointing towards her nose. She too had earrings, a gold stud in each ear, and was wearing a red ribbon as a choker. The woman was wearing military fagitudes like the other two girls, and her chest was also rather large, though on her it looked much more normal. The black and green of her clothes seemed to fit her very well, and the clothes seemed to flow around her as she fell into a fighting stance in front of the red-haired girl.

Behind her, the girl resumed shaking and mumbling to herself, her eyes falling out of focus once again. On the cot to the left of them, the man and woman glanced over at the four in the door way, eyes scarily blank. The black haired woman glanced at the two, and the woman nodded, standing and grabbing the sleeve of the man with tricolored hair, walked over to the other two dragging him with her. Then she sat on the bed next to the other red-haired woman who looked like she could be her twin, sitting the man next to her.

The woman in front of them repositioned herself to be in front of them, moving almost unconsciously, not taking her eyes off Sg-1 after her brief moment of silent communication with the other woman.

"Nanimono yu?"(1) she asked them, her voice gravely, like she was not used to speaking above a whisper. When Sg-1 looked at her, confused, she spoke again, this time in a language they could understand. "Who are you?"_

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TBC…_

* * *

(1) Basically, "Who are you?" in Japanese. Or something like that.

A/N: I'm sure you can guess who's who by now, even if you're a little confused, but I assure you, it'll all be explained soon. Maybe.

Next Chapter: A gigantic flashback, showing a bit on just who the hell these people are and what the heck is wrong with them.


End file.
